~* Reason #14: Snow Days *~

This isn't something I really ever thought about growing up in the North. Snow was just an expected thing, anytime from Thanksgiving to Easter. But here in the South....life is different. It snowed last night, maybe about 4 inches, and the entire town is pretty much shut down. Fort Bragg- yeah, the military post- is SHUT DOWN. It's crazy. But, it got me thinking- What about people with kids??

Some people do have to work today. What about the ones that have kids? How do you find a last minute baby-sitter willing to drive on the mostly-unplowed roads to come watch your kid for a bit? And what if you can't really afford one, but can't afford to take the day off from work? Headaches I'm happy without.

Then, of course, there are parents who stay home so it's not as big of a deal for them. But I HATE snow. And ice. And cold weather. Kids love that shit. Kids who usually sleep til noon will be up at the crack of dawn to go play in the snow. And as a responsible parent, you should probably be out there with them, showing them how to build a snowman or throw a snowball. FUCK THAT. I would be the most miserable parent on earth, stuck outside in the damn snow just so my kid could play in it for a while. There is nothing in this world I hate more than being cold. Ugh.

So, today, I'm grateful to be childless because it means I can hang out with my Netflix, inside, with a nice hot cup of coffee instead of freezing my nips off playing outside in this crap.

~* Reason #11: Christmas *~

I wasn't gonna do it, but I feel obligated. Christmas is a huge reason I'm glad I don't have kids. 

Christmas with kids is expensive. This year, I didn't have a single person to go shopping for. I sent a friend of mine some gourmet chocolate bars, and I made some chocolate bark for another, but I didn't have to. I couldn't have done that with kids. And kids these days are so damned expectant- they aren't hoping and wishing for gifts, they actually expect to see a freakin' PS4 or an iPod or a tablet or whatever. Who has that kind of money?? Well, obviously the parents buying this kind of thing, but I don't. 

Then, there's also the baby-sitter. Kids are off for 2 weeks from school. Parents aren't usually off for the same two weeks. Actually, in this town, a lot of them are military so they get holiday leave, but in general... Plus, even if I had the time off, I'm not sure I could stand to be cooped up in a house full of kids for two weeks non-stop.

There's also all the other stuff- Christmas baking, Christmas pageants, Christmas music, Christmas presents for the kids' friends and their families, deciding who goes where for Christmas. Yeesh. 

I guess the bottom line on this one is that I am well aware of the fact that I am not properly equipped to suitably provide an enjoyable Christmas for a child, and so, I am glad I don't have to.

~* Reason #5: Trying to Find a Babysitter *~

I'm not even talking about a daycare or date-night babysitter here. I'm talking about the general person-who-watches-the-kid babysitter.

I can remember being a kid, maybe 8 or 9, sitting at my dad's feet while he interviewed one high school girl after another, looking for one trustworthy enough to take care of 3 grade-school aged children for the summer. He always involved us in the interview process, but it was exhausting for us. I can only imagine how he felt.

Let's see the babysitters I remember- we had the gorgeous Barbie doll preacher's daughter. She was pretty awesome, but super religious. Her dad actually officiated my sister's wedding. She was always doing active things with us, but she kept trying to take us to Sunday school. Then we had the popular high school girl- I think for one kid, she would have been great. I don't think she was ready for 3 completely different personalities. The last one I remember was the party girl who lived one street over. She used to take us to her house so she could swim in her underwear with the boys in the neighborhood. My dad fired her for leaving our TV set to MTV's "The Grind". MTV was outlawed in our house.

So, how do you know who to trust your life to? I'm not exaggerating. A child is literally your life, in a smaller human being form. People can paint good pictures. I know tons of people who are awesome at interviews but suck as employees. People are good at telling you what you want to hear. They can even rig references. How do you know you're not going to end up on the news at the end of the day because you picked the wrong babysitter. And on the other, but no less heartbreaking end, how do you know your kid won't prefer the company of a babysitter to the company of it's own parents? This is some scary shit, and I'm not prepared for that, and I'm again grateful that I don't have to deal with it.